The start of the shinobi path: the first missions
by Spiral Daydreams
Summary: Many of our favourite shinobi don't have their first missions specified. Some are funny, some are scary, but all will show the beginnings of the ninja we all love. Even the mightiest shinobi had to start with D-rank missions...


Disclaimer: I disclaim. T for swearing.

So this was a random idea I had, on what everyone's first mission was. I'll be bouncing around from person to person. Also, I can't remember and am too lazy to look( as my book space in crammed full, and the naruto Manga are trapped in the back), was the cat mission the first mission team 7 did, or was it some unknown mission? Thank you in advance and cookies for you who tell me. Reviews are greatly appreciated, and will also get you free cookies. So if I may present…

The beginning of the shinobi path: first missions.

**Itachi's first mission **

The mission: Find Lady Kiniko's cat, Hime.

_I'm really, really bored_, I decided. I'm stuck waiting for my first official mission as a shinobi, and since my team's sensei was the last of the genin teams to get here, all of the missions suck. Honestly, I don't give a damn about gardening… and it seems Sayori-sensei doesn't either.

'I have always hated D-rank missions!' she snapped. _Woah, touchy._ 'I don't think ripping weeds out of my grandmother's garden will help them one bit!' _Amen to that. _'Anyways, they are all highly skilled shinobi who have the skills to complete the chuunin exams already!' _I think I'm starting to like her_. _Wait, Vince can't, he sucks._

'Well…' the man handing out missions hesitated.

'Well what?' _Forget touchy, I think the room dropped below freezing. _

'Lady Kiniko lost her cat, I'm sorry, but that's the best I can offer you for the time being.' The man sounded scared. Really, a ninja shouldn't be scared just from some yelling.

'I guess that will do.' Sayori-sensei sighed. 'What's the damn thing's name?' _So, I guess I can assume Sayori-sensei isn't a cat person…_

'The cat's name is Hime. It's black, female, and is wearing a blue collar. Good luck.' The man sounded relieved.

'God, that stupid furball runs away every week. Someone should just shoot it and put the poor creature out of it's misery.' _Yeah, so defiantly not a cat person. '_Whatever. Let's go find it.'

We finally got to leave, and I observed my team mates. Vince was shaking, staring at Sayori-sensei fearfully. I almost laughed, seeing as how he kept drooling over her earlier. Ameria was alright, and was actually laughing at Vince. We got to the edge of the forest.

'Time to find a cat. Let's go.' Sayori-sensei growled. _Yay, better find the furball fast, or Sayori-sensei is going to kill us… _

**An hour later… **

The cat has evaded our team. Frustrating. You know what is more frustrating? This is supposed to be a team effort thing, yet, when all of us except _Vince _see the cat, he refuses to go with us because "He saw the cat go the other way!" This is starting to really piss me off, as we could have had the damn cat already! And then, he has the audacity to call a break! _Calm, Itachi, calm down. Uchiha's don't scream at their team members and call them retards, assholes, or completely fucking useless beings. Yes, go to your happy spot…_

'I know I saw it go this way!' Vince was yelling. _Come back, happy spot…_

'And _we_ all saw it go west! Damn it, Vince, I know you had the lowest marks in class, but I figured it was just because you were lazy, not stupid.' I try not to burst out laughing at Ameria's comment, and continue returning to my happy spot. 'Apparently, my assumption was wrong…'

'Well I assumed that I would be placed in a cell of competent shinobi-' I've given up on the happy spot. So I'm incompetent? Do tell me more. '-But instead, I get stuck with a psychopath sensei-' _She's probably not that bad when were doing something actually useful. _'-A stupid nagging whore-' Poor Ameria. She looks like she was slapped in the face. '- and a silent dick who has hardly said anything!' _Don't hit, Don't speak, Father will get pissed… _'See, he still isn't saying anything, he's probably barely passed-' Oops, did I grab him by his throat and slam him against a tree? My bad. One Uchiha rule broken.

'Let me tell you something, asshole.' Two Uchiha rules broken. 'You are a retard, and a completely fucking useless being.' Four rules broken. I should be terrified, breaking _one_ Uchiha rule… but I don't really care anymore. Let Father yell at me. I'm having way too much fun. I smile, which apparently scares him. 'You know why I'm quiet?'

Vince shakes his head and stutters out a pathetic 'N-no.'

'You're a pathetic shinobi then, cause any other person can tell by now that I have a really bad temper.' I smile a bit more, and now he looks terrified. _Scaring people is fun._ I decided.

'Um, Itachi-kun, I think you should let Vince go.' Sayori-sensei mutters, but I can see the sadistic smile on her face. She's loving this.

'Give me a few more minutes, Sayori-sensei. Vince here, needs to be knocked off his high and mighty pedestal. But, anyways, where was I? Oh yes, you are a pathetic shinobi. Ameria is a kind girl, who was merely voicing her opinions, and actually helped me calm down enough to not beat you half to death. Now, apologise and thank the pretty girl.' He hesitates. 'Now.'

'I'm sorry for what I said Ameria, it was uncalled for, I'm just a stupid jerk. Thank you for calming down Itachi and saving me from going to the hospital. I owe you my life.' _I wonder if he knows how true that statement actually is? _

'Sayori-sensei is not a psycho, she was just trying to get the least boring mission for us. Another apology is in order.' He started apologizing instantly.

'I am sorry that I called you a psychopath, I should have more respect for my teacher, pleaseacceptmyapoligy!' He choke out the last part. _Oh yeah, I'm still holding him by his throat, aren't I? I guess he needs to breathe. _I let him go.

'Now, listen to me closely.' He nods his head so fast it's a blur. 'When we find the furball, and we three see it, you will follow us, alright?'

'Yes, Itachi-sama.' _Ohh, respect, I intimidated him into calling me sama! Awesome! _

'Okay, lets go.' So we did, and you know what? We found the furball in five minutes. We pounce on it, and caught it. Sayori-sensei had a death grip on the cat.

'Wait, can I hold the cat for a second?' I asked.

'Sure.' sensei shrugged. I grabbed a hold of the cat, and lifted it up to eye level. 'Well, hello cat.' It's eyes were wide, and I had the suspicion that it was scared of me. My team mates looked at one another, questioning my sanity.

'Mrow?'

'Oh, don't worry, I won't hurt you, cat. But, that woman who owns you isn't going to give up on finding you every time you run off. And personally, the village is getting sick of finding you.'

'Mrrrooow.' The cat sounded like it was growling.

'So, why don't you run off in another direction? 'Cause if I see you near the village again, then I will honestly kill you. I will, I will so slaughter your cute furry self. Who's a cute little annoyance, who's going to be a dead cat if the come back?' Before I knew what I was doing, I was snuggling and threatening this cat. I shook myself back to normal. 'Someone take this cat before I go insane.' Ameria took the cat.

'Time to return the cat to it's prison.' Ameria sighed with relief. So we set off to return to the village.

**Later, at the Uchiha mansion**

Oh, that poor creature. Honest to any religious deities out there, this poor cat was almost crushed from the woman hugging it. It was crying. I actually feel bad for the thing.

'Itachi, a moment please.' It's Father. He couldn't have found out about the broken Uchiha rules already, could he? Surprisingly enough, I didn't care. I followed him into his room. Yeah, he found out. His room was where everyone got bitched out until mom comes in and threatens to make him sleep on the couch.

'Itachi,' He started, and ugh, I can already hear that tone. 'I was told by your sensei that you yelled at one of your team mates today. Is it true?' I try not to say anything. Yeah, I fail at that.

'We could of gotten that damn cat in fifteen minutes, but no, it "went the other way." Then, _he_ calls for a break and calls us all incompetent. Since Sayori-sensei didn't step up and do her job of making sure the useless prick stayed in his place, I did it for her.' I paused, a smile growing on my face. 'I think he respects us now.'

Well, I guess that pissed him off, 'cause Father just starts yelling. Normally, when I get yelled at, I apologize fifty times or so and he lets up, or mom comes in and he sleeps on the couch that night. I'm not apologizing, I know Vince deserved it., Now, though, since I finally got to cut loose, am tempted to yell back. I resist the urge, until something along the lines of 'Since you lost your temper so you team mate was correct in calling you incompetent!' comes up, then I give up being the obedient child and not yell, but talk back. I never noticed the lovely shades of red Father's face could turn before…

'That is enough!' I smirk. He's defiantly on the couch tonight. 'Itachi, go have something to eat for supper, you missed it.' Mom growls the last bit glaring at Father. 'Then. Get some sleep, you have to meet with your team tomorrow.'

'Alright Mom, love you.' I give her a hug and whisper 'Thank you.' Then I leave, ignoring my father, deciding to get myself something to eat.

Yeah, I kind of figured Sasuke and Itachi's Dad was a control freak, dunno why. Oh, and shameless advertising, please read my other fics! I'm such a review whore, I know. I give cookies for reviews…


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